Negative self-talk is that little voice in our heads that often tells us we are not good enough, smart enough, or capable enough. No matter how much you achieve, it’s never enough for that voice. It’s the critical inner dialogue that says things like “I always mess things up,” or “I’ll never succeed,” “I’m not good enough,” “This achievement is not that great.” We have all been there! These negativity can really bring us down, affecting our self-esteem and overall mental health. The good news is, we don’t have to let negative self-talk control our lives. Although it is almost impossible to let go of this voice, we can gain more power to challenge it. Start to change the narrative and it will lose its powers.

What Encourages Negative Thoughts and Its Impact on Our Lives

It is normal to have some negative thoughts in our mind. As there is no light without darkness, there is no positivity without some negativity, that’s the fundamental nature of our world. In fact, according to scientific studies, our mind cannot understand the difference between negative and positive thoughts. So why are we infested with more negative thoughts than positive? Let’s do an exercise: Do this- Don’t imagine an elephant!

Did the image of an elephant pop up in your mind? That’s the reason behind more negative thoughts than positive ones. Our mind looks for what we try to avoid. Since we so desperately try to avoid negative thoughts, our mind takes it as a clue to create more. Don’t blame your mind, poor fellow doesn’t know the difference.

Now that we know what triggers more negative thoughts, let’s understand how it impacts our day-to-day life. Negative self-talk can infiltrate every area of our lives. It can affect our relationships, careers, and overall well-being. When we constantly tell ourselves we are not good enough, it undermines our confidence and stops us from taking on new challenges. It sometimes even becomes a loop, trapping many people from moving forward in life. For instance, when your mind tells you that you are not “good enough,” and a great opportunity comes your way, it might make you think, “I’m not smart enough to apply for that job,” which leads you to miss out on the opportunity. Since you don’t apply, you stay stuck in your current role, thus proving your mind that you are not good enough. Do you see how it traps you?

Similarly, in relationships, negative self-talk can create a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity. You might find yourself thinking, “They don’t really like me,” which may sometimes cause you to withdraw from social interactions or push others away. This may result in not only damaging existing relationships but also makes it hard to form new ones. Our mental and physical health also suffer a lot due to negative self talk. It often leads to increased stress and anxiety, which can manifest in physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or even more serious health issues. For example, repeatedly thinking, “I can’t handle this,” can increase stress levels, weakening your immune system and making you more susceptible to illnesses.

Even in day-to-day activities, negative thoughts can have a crippling effect. If you are constantly telling yourself, “I’m not good at this,” you might avoid activities you enjoy or are interested in, leading to a less fulfilling life. Over time, this constant negativity can erode your self-worth, making it difficult to find joy or satisfaction in anything you do. By recognizing and addressing negative self-talk, we can start to change how we view ourselves and our capabilities, leading to a more positive and empowered life.

How Can We Recognise and Address Negative Thoughts?

Negative thoughts can take many forms and often don’t reflect reality. These patterns are quite common. Some kids might think if they don’t get straight As, then they are not good enough. This black-and-white thinking sets unrealistic standards and leads to feelings of failure. Another example is overgeneralization. In the 1960s, U.S. psychiatrist Aaron Beck identified specific patterns of negative thinking called “Cognitive Distortions” or “Distorted Thinking,” which significantly contributed to his cognitive theory of depression Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Such thoughts create a negative narrative about our lives. If we end up believing these thoughts, we will never reach the peak of our ability.

Mental filtering is another distortion where we focus on the negatives and ignore the positives. For example if you start a business and a year into that you are fixated on not earning a certain amount, overlooking your wonderful clients, supportive partner, and great friends, you are discounting the positives. Undermining the positives and overestimating the negatives.

Sometimes we assume what others think, it’s very common. Without even asking them, we pass the judgment. Let’s say you meet someone, you had a great time but later you convince yourself that they must have disliked you because they didn’t text you that day, only to find out later that they were busy. Imagining the worst-case scenario is a way of shielding oneself from disappointment. Emotional reasoning is another distortion, where we believe our negative emotions reflect reality. For example some feel anxious and guilty when I can’t get up early for yoga, and they start thinking about the “I should be doing this.”

How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts?

You can’t! But you can regulate those. Once you are aware of a thought and label it negative, you can start by analyzing the root cause of that thought. Think of it as a train, and you are trying to figure out where it all started. It may sound like a task at first, but if you keep doing it, it will become second nature.

You want to be aware of our thoughts? Start practicing mindfulness for at least 15-20 min. Within a few weeks you will be able to pay attention to the present moment without judgment. Daily meditation will calm your mind and help you notice your thought patterns. This helps especially when negative thoughts arise. You acknowledge them without getting attached or avoiding them. Through writing or journaling, you reflect on these thoughts and identify recurring patterns. It will help you slow your rushing mind and help you get to the root of a thought. Remember, what you say, you believe! Try positive affirmations every morning in front of the mirror. It will replace negativity with more uplifting beliefs. Surround yourself with positive influences, such as inspiring music or nature walks, to keep your mindset balanced. Regular spiritual practice can help you recognize and transform negative thoughts, fostering inner peace and well-being.