Okay, you want to know how to choose the right partner in life for marriage. I want to tell you despite all our academic excellence and extraordinary progress in science and technology, we have not been able to find the right ways to choose a right life partner. Moreover, a great majority of youth in countries like India have been deprived of the freedom of choosing their partner in life. More than 80% of marriages there are being decided by the astrologers or priests on the basis of horoscopes or on the basis of the capacity to pay huge amounts of dowry. And above all marital bliss is missing from the lives of the married couples all over the globe. They are constantly fighting on petty issues but still pretending to be in love. And in some cases even pretension is not there. That is why psychologists nowadays have started calling husbands and wives as intimate enemies.
However, I would like to offer certain fundamental rules which will certainly help you in finding the right partner in life.
The first rule says there can not be a tailor-made partnership to suit your whims and fancies. The idea of a perfect match or a soulmate or made for each other mates is only a joke or imagination. If you are searching for that then you are trying to catch your own shadow which is certainly impossible. If you are preparing a list of qualities and trying to find the same in your spouse then no doubt you are looking for a robot, not a life partner. Instead, Try to become crystal clear about what you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to become in life. And then try to explore as to what extent your spouse can fulfill the same. Secondly, never forget that you will have to become what you want. Just one-way traffic is not possible. If you want a dream partner, you are also required to have the abilities to become the dream partner of your spouse.
Thirdly, a relationship is bound to be painful if it has grown out of unhappiness. It is the law of nature that like attracts the like. If you are unhappy, unhappy people will be attracted towards you. Only happy people are attracted towards happy people. You attract people of the same plane. Therefore the most significant requirement is to be happy, to be joyful, and to be celebrating in life. Then you will attract a similar soul. And there will be a meeting of two dancing souls.
The fourth rule says, learn the art of living alone joyfully. If you can live joyfully when you are alone only then you can be happy together also. And I want to tell you that meditation is the only way for learning the same. If you are happy then you have something to give, something to share. And when you give, you get. You get only when you give. And only then the need arises to love somebody. And therefore the fifth rule says let the hours to love somebody arise within yourself. Because beautiful relationship can arise only when you are ready to love somebody otherwise not. The physical urge for sex may arise. The emotional urge to relate may arise. The financial urge of security may arise. But the inner urge of love can not arise without going deeper into your being through meditation. Ordinarily that need that arises is the need to be loved by somebody. But you will be surprised to find that everybody is deprived of love. It is so just because love comes only by giving. It never comes by demand.
Rule number six says, learn the art of loving yourself. If you are not loving towards yourself, you can not be loving towards anybody else. Loving yourself means not to torture yourself for anything that went wrong in the past. Loving yourself also means to forgive yourself for every mistake of the past.
In short, loving yourself means total freedom from guilt and fears of the past. It simply means loving yourself unconditionally because if you can not love yourself unconditionally, you can not love anybody else wholeheartedly and unconditionally.
Finally while making a decision, on the right partner in your life it would be better to listen to your inner voice. It would be better to listen to your intuition instead of depending on worldly calculations and over argumentative conclusions.
When the right partner happens to meet, there will be some outstanding indications. An intense urge for intimacy will grow. Waves of Love will arise in your heart. And you will find that all doubts and fears have started disappearing one by one. In such a situation be fully assured that the right partner has come.